Unrequited Love

          There is a certain aura to love that didn’t last, or even didn’t take off, to begin with. There are so many possibilities… , unknown, untraced, left back in an uncharted territory, which was never explored, never came to be, never materialised in the real world. No wonder, it has been of so much importance in lives of people all throughout the ages. Right from poets of such repute as Dante, to writer of such stature as Marquez. This chimera, has attracted attention of, and consumed many people in its liar, over the years.

People are generally drawn towards the unknown, towards places they couldn’t go, to things they were never able to do. We are wired to explore the chaos of existence. And such relationships are our forays in that domain. In the domain of the unknown. If you were with someone and now no longer are, that fact in itself, represents to you , deep down in your subconsciousness, all other worlds you could’ve inhabited where you could’ve been with the person whom you are no longer with. All those unknown worlds beckon you. They draw you towards them. And you feel enticed by them, entangled in them, unable to and unaware of the need to, move on.

Something similar happens when you love someone and he/she doesn’t love you back. That person become the representative of unknown, or in many cases, unknowable, in your world.He/she represent everything that you are not. They represent a world so far removed from yours that you think of all the things you could be in their world, or they in yours. But nevertheless, they signal to you the chaos that lies outside the boundaries of your knowledge, of all the things outside your field of existence, that which you are not, and probably could never be. Places you could never be at, or hardly reach. OF STRINGS OF FATE WHICH YOU CAN NEVER EVER IMAGINE TO UNDULATE.

Magnet.jpg

But that is where we go wrong.. in my opinion.. Because improvement is an unending process and perfection never comes, and even any proximity to it doesn’t come at snap of a finger, but sometime might take generations. There is that saying which goes something on the lines of, “Opposites attracts, same repels”, but in the search of people who are too much different than yourself, you are in a way, challenging a dragon of chaos which is far much bigger and stronger than you are ready to handle, and that dragon could eat you. And that happens with a lot of people,.. in their relationships, the dragon of chaos swallows them alive. So, not to say that the struggle is futile, the search meaningless and the feelings that you feel, unreal.. but sometimes you have to recognise your current boundaries of being and the the limit to which you can stretch them. And yes, that limit might be infinite, but this life is very short, and time is running out fast, and you have already lost a lion’s share of that.

So better move on?

Sopranos Existentialism

Sopranos shows us that only if those people ,who are living the most accomplished of lives in fileds where they are confronted by the existentialist suffering of existence much more acutely than the rest of the population, could have the insight and the vision, or develop one to become self realized enough to become aware of their “condition”, then the idea is presented with much more authority and rigoiour than when being pontified by a pot smoking, pot bellyed virgin, nobody , who lives a miserable existence.

The Nature of the Immortal

Is there any everlasting,unchanging entity in the world..? Is it truth,love,god or lust…? Is there something like that out there or not? Or it is just a figment of human imagination which exist just to assure us that even after all the changes our mind and body undergoes,there is still a part of us,something inside us,or something out there which we hold on to,that never changes. And hence,this unchanging entity act as a reference point for us,a standard which we keep in the back of or head so that we can keep telling ourselves that even though scientists would say that a person becomes altogether another person within a short span of 7 years, from most of the cells in his body to most of his thoughts and beliefs… We don’t change,that we are actually our own self only. The need for this everlasting entity is very strong, it is very important variable in whole equation of things as this defines our very existence. We need these … things,.. everlasting love,everlasting truth.. to fundamentally define our own selves.

For example,when a man finds the love of his life,he says He loves ‘the one’ he has chosen. and no matter how many years pass,this would not change. That means if we ask this man the same question after 10 or 20 or 30 years,his answer would be same…that He loves her. And this becomes,fundamentally,the definition of his own self. Its the constant amongst all the variables in life. No matter if all else inside his body and mind changes, this one thing,this everlasting,indestructible love would never end and this would help him define who he is.( those who would have watched the famous U.S series ‘Lost’ would remember the episode “The Constant” where Desmond Hume would hang on to this thread,this ‘constant’,for survival.)

Again the same thing can be said about the other ultimate,indestructible things,we set in our lives. Lets say,ultimate everlasting truths, we find it,or are very eager to believe and internalize one,…because again,it acts as something which becomes the reference of our very own existence,as I would believe in one ultimate truth now,and also at any other point in time,even though all  this while,every other thing might change in and around me,I’d be fine,I’d be,well… my own self…because I’m holding on to this immortal entity,which is ‘truth’ in this case. So,just like ‘love’,this external everlasting factor defines me and hence I always search for it.

Life is very complex and there is a no clear answer to any question. Our consciousness tries to make sense of its own biological suit,i.e our body and the surroundings of this suit. In the process of this ‘making sense’ of things it devise ways,like the one I’ve(tried to)explain above for its own continued existence and to keep the balance in the universe maintained. But i think outside of this ‘act of understanding’,there is no existence of any ultimate,indestructible,immortal entity,physically tangible or abstract. Objectively seeing,the only things which exist are our consciousness(also called soul,spirit etc.) and the physical world. And these two are also not inseparable but intrinsically interwoven in a complex web where both affect and get affected from each other. And the world which we see and don’t see is the byproduct of this interaction.

The Empty Spaces

Between Mondays and Saturday our life runs and that is almost all of it. Your whole adult life is nothing but a daily robotic routine which is not only mundane but also at times feels meaningless and useless. But we live on,with the hope that something great might happen tomorrow,or the day after tomorrow,maybe next month,surely next year… sometime.. in the future ,where everything would be perfectly peaceful and interesting at the same time. In this hope we lead our life,going through the motions from Mondays to the next weekend,from one holiday/outing to the next… all the time suffocating,crawling on our knees as the years pass us by and we complete our pitiful,pathetic existence in this world.

Many would argue that I’m a depressed cynic writing whatever shit here. This is not how life is for majority of people. Many live their life to the fullest,enjoying every moment ,achieve great successes in life and die a content man. But I would like to reason against this, I don’t think even 0.01% of whole human population on this plant live their life to their utmost satisfaction. Most of the people,for all their life,are not able to know what their purpose is or where they are going. Most of the people are unsure about themselves,insecure in their own cocoon,driven by other people’s life which they presume perfect. Ask yourself this question… Your own conclusion that the world is a wonderful place filled with rainbows is not because you feel fulfilled in your own life,but because you look up to the lives of those whom life you think is perfect,and are always trying to make your life as much similar to these individuals as you can… So,in fact most of the people live a life chasing a mirage which is somewhere at a distance ,somewhere far away,in the future…

What is my aim in writing this article…?Its not about creating an existential problem where there is none, but to  motivate people to live more life in the moments which they pass as ’empty spaces’ during weekdays,during the office hours,during an average adult’s day … because life is in these empty spaces.. when we are alone with ourselves… where we can learn more about ourselves,where we can learn to love ourselves,where we can explore our true potential in absence of negative emotions such as jealousy,pride or selfishness.. and by doing this only,we can create a world really filled with ultimate bliss and everlasting rainbows…!